Stephanie's Ark 

By Hank Edson

There was this party

Of a family, a good Irish Catholic family

With six children and grandparents

And then the children had children

And even some of the children’s children had children

And there were nephews and aunts and cousins

And heaven knows what kinds of relations...

And their dates, of course.

Or their wives or their brothers-in-law or fiancés

And friends;

Some were not really not even remotely “family,” just total strangers

Who were adopted and for the party, perhaps for good,

Actually made family

And all of these people numbered about 250.

And everyone was drunk.

It was on the shore of the Delaware River

With a band, a picnic, dancing,

And people were really carried away.

One man passed out and was tied to the base of a tree by his feet

So that he was in the odd position of hanging right side up

By his toes.

And when he woke up, he tried to walk

And fell down helpless and fuming:

“NO ONE TIES ME TO A TREE!”

And everyone laughed.

There was a contest to see who could hit a golf ball

All the way across the river.

One of the family, a brother or something

Was a trophy winner

And two others, also brothers? Were good

But everyone else, and that’s a lot,

Was not good at all, just beginners, just playing.

And one pregnant lady was so drunk

She said she couldn’t play because she couldn’t see the ball

In front of her.

She was laughing, hysterical

And everyone was so relaxed;

It was great fun.

And I was a young woman, an exchange student from West Germany.

Copyright © Hank Edson 2009

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